Dave’s MS Story – Please pass along your comments for Dave and I will see that he gets them! Although the details change, his story is all too common among MSers.
My story is long but I will try to keep it short and thank you for caring enough to read. It started in 1997 after I was rear ended by a drunken driver. I had a vision loss, double vision, speech impaired, left hand and fingers shaking and bad headaches. They did an MRI and said I had MS. A couple days later I was sent to a neuro and he said I had a few lesions on my brain and than did all the MS tests and they all came back neg. He said I had a stroke instead.
Over the next 11 years I have struggled with vision loss and double vision, numbness stuttering and bad memory loss. In 2008 I was sent to a new neuro and had an MRI that showed 3 lesions on one side 2 on the other. Well she did all of the tests to rule out MS and they all came back negative. She said that the lesions were from smoking but I had not smoked in over 10 years, I didn’t like what she said because it didn’t give a reason for the symptoms I was having. I then lost my job and insurance. Well because of other injuries over the years I became disabled and finally got SSD and Medicare.
In Oct. 2010 my pcp ordered a new MRI and then there were 15 lesions on one side and 20 on the other and it also said I had a Dawson’s Finger. So off to a new neuro and all the test even the Lyme came back negative, he than told me it was from high blood pressure but he never asked me what my BP was because if he did he would have found out it was well controlled and even low enough for me to faint while trying to stand. Well a couple of months ago I started with extreme fatigue my left pinky went numb and the toes on my left foot went numb, than I started having horrible muscle spasms, double vision so bad I could not drive.
So I asked for a new neuro and went to see him Monday. After going over my previous MRI’s and doing some tests in his office he came in and told me that I did indeed have MS and probably had since 1997 and right now I am having a relapse only this time it is so bad I am having trouble walking and never have been in so much pain all over my body. He has started me on provigil and sent me home with a stack of papers and said to pick a medicine to start treatment with. I only have Medicare and looked up the prices of the meds, my Medicare will cover $2800 a year in scripts and the first month will wipe that out and all of the other meds I need.
Right now I am scared out of my mind. The stress level is so high I am and have been contemplating taking my own life which I fear because I have tried to in the past and now know what I did wrong. I am trying to think of anything I can to be positive but I am feeling like this MS is the nail in the coffin and only needs for the hammer to come down. I don’t want to live like this if anyone can words of encouragement or what you might have done if you have gotten to this point in life with this disease. All I ask is if anyone can, PLEASE HELP ME and yes I do truly believe in God and pray for comfort from him and ask him to stand beside me through this.
Besides the MS I also have spinal stetnosis,4 degenerative disk, a deformed hip from birth that also has an impingement and arthritis in it and last but least a form of schofrania and depression. I feel like a walking science or medical project. Well sorry for this being so long and let me get some of what is going on off my chest as I have no one to talk to or that will understand what I am going through. God bless and thanks for feedback